Ignite
by nobleignominy
Summary: SG-1 arrive on a planet overrun with a science experiment gone wrong - trying to escape with a handful of survivors, they run into complications in front of the gate, Daniel & Vala are transported onto an alien spacecraft captained by a deranged Goa'uld.
1. Chapter 1: The Faceless Ones

Chapter 1: _The Faceless Ones_

##

"Daniel, dial the gate!" Cam's voice cut through the confusion as Vala took cover behind a rather conveniently placed boulder just south of the gate. An explosion sent shrapnel flying, and Vala ducked her head. The force of the P-90 in her arms sent a familiar string of vibrations through her body as she aimed at the tentacled beings streaming down the hillside - faceless creations hellbent on claiming P3X-876 as their own.

"They're coming from the rear, too - they're trying to flank us!" Sam yelled from Vala's right.

"You said we'd be _safe_," Hanna, a fourteen year old Verani refugee said, her once hopeful voice now cut with fear. Vala's jaw clenched as she tried to focus on the situation at hand. Daniel just had to dial the gate and they would be free. Cover Daniel, that was the job.

It was difficult to be sure, but Vala's P-90 sliced through at least four more of the tentacled behemoths. Someone had thrown a grenade over their heads, Vala's best guess was Sam. The entire ordeal had become such a mess, Vala couldn't even sure if Teal'c had made it out behind them. The grenade had landed too close to their place of cover and Vala's ears began to ring as she blinked the dust out of her eyes.

"They're coming, they're coming!" Hanna shrieked, batting her tiny fists into Vala's side. She turned her attention to their rear, knowing that she was almost out of ammo.

"I almost got - " Daniel said just as a bullet ripped through the front of his jacket, a second erupted through his jaw and he collapsed onto the DHD. Vala got to her feet just as it happened, suddenly aware of the gash in her forehead dripping blood down into her vision, but Hanna grabbed her jacket and yanked her down with surprising force. Cam was suddenly there, shoving Daniel off the DHD so he could finish dialing out.

Ignoring Hanna's protestations, Vala ran to Daniel, ignoring what she had seen, believing beyond hope that he was still alive.

"Not now, Vala," Cam said pushing her up as the event horizon lit up. Her ears were still buzzing frantically and she couldn't quite make out what Cam ordered next. There were a dozen villagers that they had managed to evacuate from Haeg, she remembered. They had to be saved. Daniel got the gate open to get them through. He'd already run through, she thought - still ignoring the bloodied mound of flesh she was kneeling beside.

"I'll hold them off - you get the rest of them through," Vala said. Cam nodded, knowing that there wasn't exactly time to argue with her. Leaning beside the DHD, hoping that it afford her some cover (the same cover it afforded Daniel she didn't have time to think), Vala took her P-90 back up and began shooting into the fray of beasts as they came up. Hanna was ushered along with her mother, shouting for Vala as they passed.

"Vala, you're still with us, right?" Sam said as she passed, the heat from her own P-90 billowing into Vala's face as she fired the weapon.

"I'm fine, just go!" Vala yelled in reply, wanting to hold the fort until Teal'c showed up. She knew he would, just like she knew Daniel couldn't be dead. Sam dove through the gate and Vala continued shooting at the bombardment of mutations that were spreading over the area in waves. She _wasn't_ still with them, she realized. She couldn't focus and that damned gash in her forehead was still _dripping. _Dropping her hand, which had grown shaky, it fell to Daniel's back. So wet! She swallowed, foolishly ignoring what was going on around her. "Daniel, please. Please get up." A hateful gale whipped the field where the Stargate was located then. Vala had only a short second to see that a ship had manifested itself directly above the Stargate when she was dematerialized.

##

2 DAYS PREVIOUS

"They're clearly terrified," Vala heard Sam saying. She wasn't paying the utmost of attention to the group's conversation, a bauble that turned out to be a bracelet had caught her eye. It was glinting on the dark sideboard and Vala couldn't resist fingering it enviously. SG-1 was clustered in what seemed to be the living room of a small town about thirty minutes east of the Stargate. Vala felt a pinch at her hip and turned to see Daniel, mouth slightly open as he shook his head disapprovingly. Vala huffed at him and tightened her grip on her P-90.

"Right, so someone created these things. Any idea who patient zero was?" Vala piped up, reminding them all that she was still there and not altogether useless.

The town on P3X-867 was known as Haeg. The planet was Veranan. SG-1 had gated in during some sort of self-induced apocalypse. As far as technology went, they were equal to Earth, though perhaps not quite as populated. The townswoman who had graciously allowed SG-1 to stay in her home, Eliza, had informed them that some sort of spore that had originated as a form of biological warfare mutated human skin where it came into contact with it. They had seen four or five victims clustered around the Stargate upon entry.

"Patient zero?" Eliza repeated.

"She means the place of origin. Your scientists, aren't they working on a cure or some sort of containment?" Cam said.

"They told us to stay indoors. It spreads by touch - sometimes. I think some are immune. The things… the newscaster said that their brains are functioning at nominal levels, that they only have the basest of functions, but… they still use guns. They're organized. I don't understand," Eliza said, shaking her head. Vala wasn't listening too intently at this point as a little girl had poked her head through the stair railing. It was late at night at this point, and Vala had the feeling she wasn't supposed to still be awake. Vala put a finger to her lips and smiled, which the girl returned. She took a seat and dangled her legs through the thin rod iron bars. Whatever the Verani were suffering, they had absolutely beautiful taste in home furnishings. At least the skittish Eliza did.

"We'll need to get a sample back to the SGC, have Dr. Lamb look it over," Sam said to Cam.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Eliza said, shaking her head. "It's spread over most of the larger cities in a manner of weeks. You shouldn't chance it." This would mean bringing Lamb and supplies to this side of the gate to do a bit of field work. And why not? Lamb hardly got out of the lab these days.

"Can you tell us anything about the incubation period?" Sam asked.

"A couple hours at the most. But boils fester upon contact - if the victim isn't immune. And then… all orifices close up. The face collapses onto itself. And those _things_ grow," Eliza continued. As she did so, Vala snuck upstairs to sit with Eliza's daughter, who had a curious smile on her face. She supposed she wasn't _very _little. Thirteen, maybe fourteen.

"You know what your mum is talking about?" Vala whispered.

"About the Faceless Ones?" the girl said.

"Is that what you're calling them?"

"Yep. Though Mom calls them sick. And the news people call them 'perpetrators' or 'victims' depending on who you listen to," she said, wiggling her feet.

"What's your name?"

"Hanna. And you're Vala. And that's Daniel, Sam, and Cam - and the big guy is Teal'c," she said, pointing at Muscles to prove she was paying attention. Vala grinned as she watched the rest of her team try and wrestle out answers from Hanna's distraught mother. True, Eliza had been the only person who had let them in, but she still seemed almost paralyzed with fear at the prospect of contagion. Perfectly reasonable, under the circumstances - annoying, though. She had only let them in because she was possibly more afraid of Teal'c breaking the door down than she was of one of the tentacled monsters turning her into one of them, slightly less reasonable.

"How long ago did the town seal itself off, Hanna?" Vala asked.

"Not three days ago. I think it's too late. But Mom's right, you know," Hanna said.

"About what?"

"They're not just mindless things. They've got formations. And tact. They're waiting for something. Come on, I'll show you," Hanna said, getting up and grabbing her hand. Vala followed obediently. The hallways were painted a warm butterscotch and she suddenly wished she had a few swatches. Her little hellhole back at the SGC could definitely use a bit of a face lift. Or maybe they'd let her get her own place if she gave them something useful on this latest and greatest foe. Hanna dragged her into what looked like an office. There was a peculiar chrome keyboard sitting on a desk and a heavy leather chair in front of that. There were pictures of the girl's family - which seemed to only consist of Hanna and her mother - littering the desk and walls.

Waving her hand at nothing as she sat down, the girl whispered, "Come on, wake up." With another snap of her fingers, a monitor flickered alive, projecting from a small orb beside the keyboard. A few years _ahead_ of Earth then, Vala thought. "The uh, strata isn't up right now. But before it went down my friend Clerval sent me this feed from Havina - that's the capitol city - here, look."

Vala interpreted the strata to be Earth's equivalent of the internet - a world village. Oh how she wished to have had such a device when she was growing up. The projection seemed to be touch screen enabled, and Hanna's adept hands flew across it to bring up the feed. It took a few moments for it to load and Hanna turn to Vala with an apology on her face. "It's a couple years out of date. Mom wouldn't spring for a new one. The sensitivity is all wonky."

Vala leaned over Hanna's shoulder as she watched the video feed from what must be a camera. It was shaky, but she quickly saw what Hanna meant by 'formations'. There were people screaming, military vehicles trying to maintain some sort of peace, but the _things_, the Faceless Ones, with their flesh colored tentacles growing from arms and heads, they were marching together. It was organized. What was stranger, they turned as one. Rows of fives and tens, all turning as one down the street.

"Can you zoom in there?" Vala said, finger hovering over a man who had just collapsed in the middle of the street.

"He's in transition I think," Hanna said grimly as she tapped the screen and spread it apart with her fingers. It took a moment for the video to sharpen, but she could see as the man doubled over. The skin around his mouth closed first. Then his nose and eyes did the same. A thick extremity began to grow from the top of his head then as he could do nothing but convulse on the sidewalk. Vala swallowed, wondering how many times Hanna had watched this. She felt like she might be sick.

"But how do they breathe?" Vala said.

"I don't think it's just an um, outside - exterior change. The scientists, whatever creeps were behind this, they haven't told us little people much - but I think the insides change. Maybe to where they don't need air?" Hanna said. "They're not human. And I don't think they can be fixed, either. But oh look at this - you see that? He's getting up now. First he sort of just runs after someone else, towards one of the military cars - but then look! Something happens, he convulses again and suddenly it's like he can see clearly. Or however it is they see. And he loses that insanity and follows the rest of them. A few of them are even carrying guns."

Vala grimaced. "Quite a mess you lot have gotten yourselves into."

"Isn't it just?" Hanna said. "That ring thing you guys came through, can get us away from here, right?"

"The Stargate? Don't your people know how it works?"

"No. We thought it was some monument left behind by the Goa'uld. We left it there to, I dunno, remember them or something stupid."

"You never tried one of the buttons?"

"The buttons don't work. Never have. I'm sure if scientists remembered it, they might come poking around, but it's supposed to be a 'town treasure.' No touching," she explained, shrugging. "Some of the wealthier people have chartered some of our ships to get off the planet, but obviously Haeg isn't exactly the place billionaires go to retire. As soon as they want to, those Faceless Jerks are going to kill us, too."

Vala frowned. They hadn't even stopped to see if the DHD worked. It had been intact, that had been the important thing. Sam would be able to fix it. DHDs weren't a big issue these days, they had come a fairly long way in their understanding of Stargate technology. But by the sound of it, they really ought to make sure it was working before they had to stumble through a quick getaway. There was a gentle knock at the door as Daniel walked in.

"If you aren't going to wait for an answer, why bother with the knocking at all? Honestly, we could have been-"

"Naked?" Daniel said. "With a fourteen year old girl?" Vala pursed her lips, suppressing the desire to stick her tongue out at him. "Anyway - Hanna, right?"

"Yeah."

Before Daniel could continue his sentence, Vala said, "Watch this. What does it remind you of?" She replayed the video for him, picking up the mechanics of the technology quickly enough. It was much more user friendly than anything on Earth was.

"Holy shit," he said. Vala swatted the back of his head. "Oh sorry." Hanna didn't seem to understand, clearly their curse words on this planet were different. Daniel's eyes narrowed as he watched the feed twice through. "They're… they're like bees."

Vala's face contorted in disgust. "Well, that's a bit racist, Daniel." She recalled only the bees she had encountered on a planet known as Enstiana, a commune of hermaphroditic cave dwellers - friendly sorts, but one mustn't drink the water."That's not what I was thinking of," Vala said. "I was thinking of Zularrian thugbeetles. They swarm, you see and -" Daniel was frowning at her again and then it clicked. "Oh you're talking about the bumbles. Bumbles. I suppose that's similar, yes."

"All their senses have been impeded as far as I can tell. I mean we can examine them closer to see if whatever membrane that's covering their mouths and eyes is permeable - but I'm assuming they communicate with… pheromones or something to that effect," he paused, adjusting his glasses. "Hanna, has the town initiated any sort of evacuation?"

"No, like Mom said. Just closed off, twiddling our thumbs, waiting to turn into one of _them_," Hanna said, huffing and crossing her arms irritably.

"Right. Does your town have some sort of broadcasting system we can use to organize one on our own?" Daniel asked. Clearly he thought Hanna was of more use to them than her mother as well. She _was_ very bright. Vala would have liked to have her as a daughter - this thought made her think, rather bitterly, of Adria. Adria, her own almost-daughter, the power hungry deity who had destroyed countless planets for not worshiping her. Every time she thought of it, a headache would begin to brew right behind her eyes. She put a hand to her temple and sighed.

"Well there's the news station, I guess. I can take you there. We can hitch a ride in my neighbor's wagon. Mom's is at the shop and Ms. Hignass is out of town right now," Hanna said, bouncing out of the chair. She seemed very excited to be doing something other than _twiddling_. "Just have to get dressed! Be back in a minute!"

"How's her mum, then?" Vala asked as Hanna disappeared out of the office and bounded down the opposite end of the hallway toward what Vala assumed must be her room.

"Not so good. Cam's doing his best aw shucks routine to insight some kind of relief, but I think our being here has just unsettled her more. Especially the idea of us being aliens. She'd rather believe we were just military," Daniel said. "Probably should have lied, now that I think about it." Coulda woulda shoulda, Vala thought.

"Will you answer me honestly?" Vala started. Daniel raised an eyebrow at her, nodding hesitantly. "Have you ever just gone to a planet and it was pleasant? I mean say you were invited to a picnic, played a little scrabble, and went home?"

"Designated the planet as 'mostly harmless, good for vacationing' rather than 'cannibals, tigers, and bears, oh my'?" Vala nodded and Daniel offered her a tired smile as he put an arm around her shoulders. "Nope."

"Good," she said. "That would be _so_ boring."

##

Vala came to and lurched forward, hanging her head between her knees as it swam hatefully. Blinking purple spots out of her vision, she tried to bring her head back up in order to get her bearings. Her hands were tied, she realized, feet too, and she was sitting on a cold grey floor with unusual darker grey swirls embedded into the design. Her back was to a lumpy blue wall that dug uncomfortably into her spine. She scooted forward as best she could and looked around.

She was in a ship, she knew that. There was a gentle hum to it that ran comfortably through her body, unusual but not altogether unfamiliar. Everything aboard the ship was grey or blue, the make and model completely foreign to her. Perhaps it wasn't human. She'd never been aboard an Asgard ship - perhaps they had saved her from the Faceless Jerks. Vala discarded the idea quickly enough when she realized that the tiny grey men wouldn't have bothered to tie her up. Unless Daniel thought this was some fantastic joke - but that was ridiculous as well. Daniel didn't have a sense of humor. Her throat caught for a moment as Daniel's face popped into her head - grisly and jawless after he had fallen to the ground. Her mind was inventing that - she hadn't seen it, she reminded herself. She shook the image away.

Considering briefly that saying hello and alerting her captors to her newly found consciousness might be a bad idea, she said it anyway. "H-hello?" She suddenly became aware of a different sort of humming. This was a man. And a very out of place jaunty tune. She decided to initiate a veritable yoo hoo in hopes that she hadn't simply been forgotten. "Hello? I can hear you over there. Who the hell are you? Where am I?"

The humming stopping. She was inside a hallway. She was sure it was just a hallway. Maybe the ship didn't have actual holding cells. Perhaps the hallway was as out of the way as her captor could handle. Still, it was all rather unsettling. Especially that humming. She heard footsteps coming closer, and she struggled a bit more frantically with the ropes on her hands. They were knotted _very_ well and she lost her balance and tipped over.

"Quetesh, do me a favor and stop being so _shrill_. It's noisy enough in here without - Yes, I know she's awake. You see what I see! No, it's not your _turn_," the man said, forgoing an answer in order to better argue with himself. Vala struggled to slide away from him, but he wasn't paying her one bit of mind as he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder like a bag of flour. She continued to struggle and even tried to bite the back of his neck, but she couldn't quite reach.

He flopped her over into a seat and she spun slightly away. She blink twice as she realized that he had tossed her onto a _swivel_ chair. With _wheels_. Who in their right mind would have a swivel chair aboard a space ship? She realized now probably wasn't the time to be pondering this peculiarity on top of the myriad of others.

She straightened and watched as he, the funny man with strawberry blond hair and birdlike features, went back to what he was doing, muttering to himself all the while.

Vala waited a moment for an 'in' to the conversation. She already had a feeling this was a Goa'uld - more likely a Tok'ra. After all, Goa'uld would hardly argue with themselves. But then the Tok'ra were usually more reserved.

"No, she's clearly not. Yes, I heard - no. Okay! O-okay yes. Sh-shhhush!" His speech became muddled and stressed. It looked like he wanted to slap someone. She had a sinking feeling that would be her.

"Why," she said finally, "did you call me Quetesh? Have we met?" Vala had played host to the Goa'uld known as Quetesh for about thirty years not too long ago. Many of the Goa'uld still recognized her as such - which could either be very good or very bad news, depending on who was currently residing inside this skittish, however well built, little lunatic.

"Yes - no, well. Yes I'm telling her!" He paused for a moment, clasping his head and squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them again, they glowed briefly - the signature of a Goa'uld. "I'm sorry, Quetesh. This host isn't exactly my choosing. Desperate times, you know!" Vala rolled her eyes as the man's voice deepened to a caricature of its former self.

"Who are you then?"

"Oh we never met. I worked for Ba'al. I am Sobek," he said. Vala grimaced. She recognized the name. One of Ba'al's tinkers. She had heard that the Free Jaffa had captured and killed him, but clearly they had missed a piece. "The damaged little creature I'm residing in is called Allan."

"And you allow Allan to speak for you? How very unlike a Goa'uld," Vala said.

"I'm a more enlightened individual. At one point I even called myself a Tok'ra," Sobek said, shrugging, strutting towards her. It could only be described as a strut: he had his arms crossed behind him, his shoulders were straight. His eyes, a dull blue, appeared sunken and bruised. There was more coherency in them now that Sobek had taken over, but the shabby tan frock he was wearing, and the state of his hair told her that Sobek didn't often get the reins.

"Tok'ra, eh? And what's a Tok'ra doing all the way out here in the middle of an apocalyptic nightmare? The Goa'uld being gone ought to have allowed you asylum on another planet," Vala said, shifting in her uncomfortable position on the swivel chair. If she could turn around and vault off one of the walls, perhaps she could incapacitate him and take over the ship. Either that or she would knock herself over and he might not be nice enough to pick her up again. Ah the foils of a swivel chair.

"If you keep struggling like that you're going to chafe and bruise those delicate little wrists of yours," Sobek said, turning back to what appeared to be a work table. Vala frowned, realizing that a DHD had been taken apart, its various bits and pieces strewn about haphazardly like a giant jigsaw puzzle.

Vala looked from the table to the rest of her surroundings. She could tell the ship wasn't huge. This wide, round room aside, the frame of the ship did not boast size. She could see that the main control interface was also housed towards the front of the room. There were three hallways leading off from this main atrium. Vala was completely alone on this ship, but it felt like so was Sobek. She'd been in far worse situations, this was - what had Cam called it? Pastry. It was pastry.

"Well, then, why am I here?" Vala asked, as she did so, she realized that Sobek had disappeared.

"You… You're just an accident. We just needed the DHD - Damn it, I'm explaining it to her because she has a right to know. I don't know! Will you - Fine. Sobek says I probably shouldn't tell you this - but he's not really my favorite person right now," Allan said, picking up a tool that most closely resembled a socket wrench and pressing it to his temple.

"I can imagine," Vala said, nodding.

Allan let out a laugh at this. It was more like a giggle, really. "You can, can't you? But you've only had one - one! Those were the days. He calls you Quetesh, but that's not your name. It's Va-Vala, right?"

"How did you know that?" she asked, choosing that one over the more pressing ones simply because she didn't want to make him nervous. Allan was a squirrelly little beast, spooking him might land her out an airlock - especially when it seemed she wasn't necessary in whatever they were doing. The first thing she had to do was _make_ herself useful - seem like she was his friend.

"I pay attention," he said, leaning over the work table and loosing several wires from one of the boxes within the DHD. She could see the crystals lying in a pile at the other end of the table - they'd been completely fried.

"Were you down there? On Veranan?"

"Not recently, no. Well! That's not true, all three of us were down there about a month ago," Allan said, pausing as he recalled whatever events led him here. Vala had no reason to suspect that Allan and his tag-along had any part in what was going on down on the planet, just one Goa'uld was hardly a threat to a civilization, but she supposed she would be foolish to dismiss him entirely. What he meant by three, she didn't quite know. Perhaps he had two Goa'ulds inside him? No, that was biologically impossible - the Tok'ra had tried on countless occasions when they're populations began to decline exponentially and willing hosts were almost impossible to find.

"That doesn't really answer my question then. How did you know my name, Allan?"

For a moment, Allan didn't answer, he continued tinkering with the wires. He zapped himself and looked at her, sucking idly at his index finger. He looked, in that moment, like a child with a boo boo.

"What me to kiss it better?" Vala said, offering him a coaxing smile.

"Your uh," he began, shaking the pain from his hand, "your other person. Brown hair, yay tall? He was beamed up with you and the DHD. It's a proximity thing. He was nearly dead. We threw him in a sarcophagus."

The smile was wiped from Vala's face. She blinked, frowning as she straightened as best she could in her seat. She had all but forgotten the events leading to her sudden captivity. Daniel had been shot. Twice. But she had somehow managed to exchange that image for one of him hopping through the Stargate with several villagers in tow. That hadn't been Daniel, it had been Cam.

"He's… alive then?" Vala said, all playfulness gone from her voice.

"Oh I dunno. He's probably still in the middle of whatever deep cleansing tissue massage that thing initiates, but it's pretty reliable," he said, waving a hand thoughtfully. He suddenly seemed more calm and rational, as though his neighbors were being quiet.

"Well, take me to him then!"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea - you know. You'd probably band together and knock me out. Separate is best," he said, nodding to himself.

"I was going to do that at some point anyway! You know, I'm sure you don't want that nasty Sobek in your head any longer, if you help me then I can help you get him out! There's a process that the-"

"Oh I know all about that. But if I help you, he'll kill me. And himself. And then me again, oh it just wouldn't go at all the way we'd like. Besides, he says he's going to switch into your friend's body as soon as I get the sound system all set up - then we'll all be hunky dory and Ma'at and I can be on our way! Doesn't that sound great?"

Vala's frown deepened as his speech became faster, more erratic.

"Where do I fit into this plan?"

"That's none of your concern, Quetesh." Sobek had taken over once more. "Once I'm free of this idiot, I'll have a body I can call my own again."

"If you can't hold on to this one on your own, what makes you think it'll be any easier in Daniel's body? I'm sure he's more stubborn than Twitchy here," Vala said, her shoulders were suddenly less tight. She hadn't realized how much tension she had been holding on to. Daniel was alive though! The situation may have become steadily more repugnant, but she wasn't alone. "Besides, when my Daniel wakes up, it won't be much easier for you to keep us _both_ hostage. There's only one of you -"

"My dear Quetesh! What ever gave you the idea that I was alone?" Sobek said, leaning over her. He smelled positively garish.

Her jaw clenched as two of those scuttling, wriggling beasts from the planet below appeared from the right hallway at the snap of Sobek's fingers. "And there are several more minding your… Daniel was it? - minding his sarcophagus. I was only planning on grabbing a civilian later, but since you and he seemed to be on top of the DHD when it popped aboard - well who am I to argue with fate?"

Licking her lips as her eyes widened, Vala said, "Aren't these lovelies a bit… contagious?"

##

_Let me know what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2: You're Here Too

Chapter 2: _You're Here Too_

##

His arm buzzed painfully with that gnawing, scratching sensation of loss of blood flow. He flexed the arm as he fought to open his eyes. He felt as though he were lying under one of those lead bibs they covered you with at the dentist's office before they went to take x-rays. Daniel flung his arm out haphazardly in hopes of waking it up and wound up knocking the alarm clock off his nightstand. It fell with a noisy clatter to the floor and Daniel let out a sigh as he watched the batteries tumble out.

"Oh, no, Daniel, it's too early to get up," came a familiar whining voice as an arm slinked around his waist. Daniel's eyes widened as Vala's presence in his bed registered.

He sat up and scooted up against the headboard as he came to terms with this new development. "Vala! What the hell are you doing here?"

She frowned and rolled over. For a moment he thought she'd gone back to sleep. "I'll make pancakes if you let me have ten more minutes," she said sleepily. "Teal'c taught me how."

"I'm sure they're excellent," Daniel said not without sarcasm, as he flung the covers off of him. He was confused by just how they'd ended up sharing a bed last night, but then he couldn't exactly put it past her to sneak in without permission. He clenched his jaw irritably as he clumsily searched the floor for a shirt, noticing that as he did so, there was a distinct pain there. Like a toothache, but sharper.

"Vala," he said, frowning. He got only a loud, fake snore in response. Rolling his eyes, he massaged his jaw. It was warm, tender - as though he'd been punched. He'd gotten drunk last night, that was it. Wasted, he figured, as he had absolutely no memory of it. But Daniel didn't _do _that. And he knew that no matter how drunk he was, he'd never end up in bed with that harpy. Lying so blatantly to himself - he barely flinched at it anymore. Repression was good enough for the Puritans, why not him?

Feeling like an honest to goodness zombie as he trudged into the bathroom, Daniel fumbled for the light switch. He ran a hand over his jaw again, prickly stubble scratching the fleshy part of his palm. His jaw throbbed fantastically now. As he went to the sink, his brow furrowed as he smelled something unpleasant. Offensive even. How long had it been since he'd bothered to _really_ scrub the bathroom? He decided to ignore the smell and leaned in to get a better look at his face - he'd accidentally left his glasses on the nightstand. It was strange that he hadn't picked them up, that was the very first thing he did when he woke up - the fuzzy shadows in his usually empty bedroom unnerved him. Finding Vala had made him temporarily forgetful, he thought.

"What the _hell_," he said slowly as he finally got a good look at himself. His jaw was swollen purple. As he opened his mouth to test the feeling, his heartbeat quickened. Teeth fell out, dropping bloody into the sink. He tongued his gums helplessly. "Vala! _Vala!_" It sounded like 'Lala, Lala!"

"I'm right here, what's got your panties in a twist this time, Dr. Jackson?" she said almost sneeringly as she came into the bathroom behind him, ruffling her hair. Through the mirror Daniel saw that she had only a tank top and a pair of _his_ boxers on - the pair covered in Darth Vader helmets that Sam had gotten him for christmas one year as a gag gift.

"What the hell happened last night? Look at my face!" he shouted at her, exclaiming at the mirror, sure that this was all her fault. Unfazed by his outburst, Vala yawned and wrapped her arms around his waist as she looked into the mirror. Daniel, too preoccupied with the holes in his mouth to struggle out of her embrace, put his fingers once more to his mouth as he gaped at the mirror. Another tooth toppled out into the sink.

"To be honest, Daniel, I rather like the stubble. Makes you look like a grown up," Vala offered, kissing his chin gently. He looked at her in horror then. Not her, but the image of her in the mirror. There was a red_ fissure_ just above her eyebrow. Blood was dripping down into her eye. As he realized this, panic spread through his body as he broke his gaze from the mirror to Vala, who had dropped to her knees.

"Vala! Vala, what happened!" He cupped her face in his bloodied hands, forcing her to look at him. But it had started to go hazy then. The lights were dimming.

The last thing he heard before it went dark was a whispered "Please get up." But it was so far away…

##

It was the smell that woke him up. It had almost snuck up on him, much like driving past the baking, churning scent of a paper mill might. Daniel's hand went unconsciously to his nose as he tried to sit up without opening his eyes. His head slammed against something solid and he was forced to let his shoulders fall back down. Blinking awake, his vision cleared far more quickly than usual and he was greeted with a buzzing yellow-white light. It was warm and trailed a familiar electric sensation down the small of his back.

"Shit."

He was inside a sarcophagus. He'd been in one half a dozen or more times. Or was this the dream? Was this the dream and was his reality a toothless smile? The memory of Vala's ruptured head was clearer to him now than his broken mouth, but even that was fading. Her pleading voice though - that was still bleeding into his consciousness.

He placed his fingers into the grooves of the interior of the sarcophagus, hoping that this one worked as the others did. The levers were still there, thankfully, but just as he was about to click them forward, something passed over the small window in the lid of the sarcophagus. Daniel's heart skipped a beat and he jerked his hands back down to this chest as he resisted the urge to let out a scream.

It was one of those… _things_. A Faceless One. But it seemed to be peering at him. Leaning over the sarcophagus and staring at him intently. _But there were no eyes_, Daniel thought stupidly. It became readily apparent to him where the smell was coming from. _They_ very often smelled like compost. Sam had done the barest of examinations on several of the dead ones - it seemed that the spores induced a sudden hyperactivity in the somatic skin cells, causing them to reproduce at an exceedingly alarming rate. At least that was what was happening on the outside. The internal damage was something else altogether - for one thing, the Faceless Ones no longer required aerobic respiration: their lungs ceased to operate. But Sam was no biologist, anything further would require time and equipment they just hadn't had in the two days they'd been on Veranan.

The fleshy mound which once served as its face pressed into the glass for a moment and then pushed itself off, leaving a greasy imprint. Daniel didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do. He could stay in the sarcophagus and risk becoming strung out as well as homicidally apathetic or he could pop out and risk infection.

_But some of them were immune,_ he thought. They hadn't figured out why the infection spread only to some and not all, but SG-1 had spent two days in Haeg without losing their faces. Daniel would like to risk it, but let's face it - Daniel's luck had never been the best.

"Goddamnit!" Daniel said, frustration and fear running through his body as his fists slammed into the lid of the sarcophagus. How long could he stay in there until he started to feel strung out? Couple more hours? He didn't know how long he'd already been in there. He was trying not to let himself worry about the rest of his team. With any luck they'd gotten out through the gate. He'd finished dialing out, hadn't he? The memory wasn't quite coming to him. He just recalled pain. Pain he wasn't altogether unfamiliar with to be perfectly honest.

Trying to reign in his breathing, which was currently gathering on the small glass window, fogging his vision, he swallowed. He needed to diffuse the panic, think clearly. Easier said than done. He just couldn't figure out how he'd gotten into a sarcophagus. He remembered being at the gate, punching in the address, pain (why couldn't he forget _that_?), and then… darkness. And, subsequently, this stupid, buzzing light. His hands had grown clammy as he groped at his sides. He still had his pants, there should have been a Zat there.

"Right, no Zat, course not," he breathed, clenching his jaw. But then he felt something hard and metal in his palmful: his swiss army knife, complete with a pair of scissors, a toothpick, and slim blade, barely three inches in length. Daniel versus Frankenstein's Monster armed with a glorified _butter knife._ Jack would just _love_ to see that, he couldn't help but think. Pulling it out, he flipped the blade out anyway, taking what small comfort he could in it.

Though he couldn't be sure, _it _no longer seemed to be quite as near. The smell wasn't as pervasive. He had wrongly assumed that these stupid sarcophagi were airtight, with its own oxygen supply. At least if it wasn't right next to him, he might be able to jump out of the sarcophagus and make a run for it.

A run for it _where_ though? Where the hell was he? On Veranan? In a Goa'uld ship? They ought to be all either dead or in hiding. But just because he was in a sarcophagus didn't mean he was necessarily on a Goa'uld vessel. He wiped the condensation from his breath off the glass and tried to peer out of his coffin. He saw a dark ceiling and not much else. No gold though, which was fairly telling. Perhaps some alien had simply stolen the sarcophagus. He imagined one of these babies would fetch a pretty penny on the black market. Vala would probably know.

Swallowing hard, Daniel laid as still as possible for a few minutes, straining to hear any movement outside his box. He could hear a shuffling. Like it was dragging something. It's _arms_, Daniel thought suddenly. He remembered how a few of them, their arms would grow to such disproportionate lengths that they would have to be dragged behind them. The Faceless One continued it's shuffle from right to left for the next half hour.

_It's standing guard_, Daniel realized. It wasn't so crazy a thought - after all, they'd figured someone was controlling the things. Their hive-like mentality was most likely due to some sort of pulse, a pulse Sam hadn't had time to figure out yet. A beacon, a something. Directing the former humans to what end though? It reeked of Goa'uld experimentation in Daniel's opinion. But none of them wanted to guess that because they wanted to believe they'd taken care of that. They wanted to believe that Ba'al would be the end of it.

The white light continued to buzz with errant consistency as he laid there, unable to move for apprehension. He felt like his brain was frying with each drone of whatever was driving the thing. On its next shuffle away, he decided, he would make a break for it. God, he wished he knew where the door might be, which way he ought to head. No time to think, he just had to act. Act or have his brain boil until he became so tweeked out he couldn't bare to be away from the damn thing. He'd played that game, and he wasn't looking to repeat it.

Swiss army knife still in hand, he slipped his fingers back into the grooves which would open the sarcophagus. He shoved it up and then slid it forward, unsure if he ought to go for quick or quiet. Daniel wasn't sure if those things could _hear _or if it was by some other sense that they were governed by. A sixth sense. _Spidey sense_.

Heart beating out a samba behind his ribcage, Daniel sat up straight and allowed himself no more than five seconds to get his bearings. The creature was at the other end of the room, standing there stupidly. Daniel couldn't be sure, but he didn't think it realized he'd opened up his sarcophagus. There was a doorway out into a corridor just ten feet away from the creature. Crates, boxes, and a what looked like a stray _stargate _crowded the room which must be acting as a cargo bay. The only thing Daniel was certain of now was that he was not on board a Goa'uld ship.

Daniel got out of the sarcophagus as quietly as he could, as fluidly as he could, hoping that postponing any too-quick movements would keep its spidey sense at bay. Briefly surveying the crates which surrounded the area, he toyed with the idea of opening one in hopes of finding some kind of weapon. No, that would be stupid. And far too easy. Getting to his feet, he stumbled slightly on his legs, which were wobbly. He felt a bit like jelly on the whole. He just hoped it hadn't sensed that jerky movement which he'd used to catch himself.

If he ran to the corridor, wouldn't it just chase him through the ship? His best bet was to play for stealth -

Something loud and heavy was being lifted out of place then. The cargo bay doors were opening now and Daniel made a very quick decision to leap behind a stack of crates, tripping over one which was slightly askew as he did so. He clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from swearing. His ankle throbbed sharply as he peered around the boxes. He noticed that everything was a bit blurry, he didn't have his glasses. Still, it wasn't as blurry as it usually was when he went without them. All thanks to the heroin fueled sarcophagus he supposed.

The hangar he found himself in was extremely small, whatever must be waiting on the other side of the doors had to be no bigger than one of the Atlantean puddlejumpers - if that. Pinhole lights began to glow invitingly as the door reached the half way mark, revealing a small transport pod. Daniel also noted that he could see blue sky behind it, meaning they were still within a planet's atmosphere. Whether that was Veranan or elsewhere, he couldn't be sure. It zipped in before the hatch was all the way open and landed gracefully in the narrow space left for it between all the crates.

Daniel's eyes darted to the Faceless One still guarding the exit. It had inched forward, groping blindly with its hands-turned-fleshy-tentacles. Swallowing hard, he shifted slightly backwards in his hiding place. The transport pod, or whatever it was, opened _its_ doors now, just as the hangar doors were closing.

A woman stepped out, a thick coil of cables over her shoulder, and a sullen look on her face. Her shoulder length auburn hair was a mess of leaves and debris, and he couldn't quite make out her face but for a pair of dark, almost black eyes. The Faceless One was still edging toward her, though she wasn't in the slightest bit alarmed. In fact, she'd been expecting it.

"Roldie, take this," she said, holding out the cable for it. It took the cables obediently. She limped toward the door after that and it held out a hand for her. Daniel frowned at this. Was it empathy or was she somehow conducting its movements? She paused for a moment and then appeared more alert as she picked several leaves out of her hair and tossed them to the ground.

"Someone's here?" she asked the creature. Daniel's frown deepened as it appeared to nod. He had hoped his heart wouldn't exactly be able to speed up anymore, but here it was. Trying to kill him. As usual.

"Come out, come out wherever you are!" the woman said in a singsong voice. Daniel kept as still as he could, still pretty sure that the thing hadn't seen him. But what the hell did he know at this point?

"I don't want to _hurt_ you. If Ally brought you aboard, I'm sure there was a perfectly good reason," she said, hobbling forward. Her leg was injured, maybe he could get the jump on her, knock her down. Steal the transport pod. And then the _thing_ would only have to touch him once and then _he'd_ be the new Roldie.

He stood up hesitantly, his hands up to show he was unarmed. He'd shoved the knife back in his pocket before he did so, of course.

"Well then," she said as he appeared from behind the boxes. "Who might you be?"

"I'm ah, Daniel Jackson. I'm a peaceful explorer - I just sort of… woke up here. In that sarcophagus," he blustered.

"I forgot we had that. Suppose I couldn't just dangle my leg in and hope for it to be patched up?" She looked at him expectantly, as if he would of course know the answer. All he could do was narrow his eyes at her, confused and a bit horrified. She shook her head. "No, probably not. Do you know how long you were in there?"

"The sarcophagus?"

"I thought the question was clear," she said shortly.

"Uh, well then no. Not too long - I don't feel…" he trailed off, motioning the sign for loopy with his index finger.

"Thank goodness for that. I keep telling Allan to get rid of the silly thing," she said. "So you simply woke up here?"

"Yes. I'm sorry - but are you the one who _made_ that thing?" Daniel said, still watching a bit incredulously as she leaned on the Faceless One for support as it if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"This is not a _thing_," she said stiffly. "This is Roldie. He's simply got a skin condition." Daniel blinked and decided not to disagree with her for the moment.

"But isn't it - Roldie, isn't he contagious?" The fact that she had named it had made it all too apparent that the thing had once been human - he'd been trying to forget that notion, if only to make killing them a bit easier.

"What? Oh. _Oh_. No, of course not. Would I be hanging all over him if he was? Do use your head! Come on then, and no funny business. I've got to ask Allan what you're doing here in the first place," she said, leaning forward and shaking the debris from her head. A puff of dirt reached Daniel's nose and he sneezed. The woman paused as he did, eyeing him suspiciously before saying, "Also you may call me Druenna."

"Druenna," Daniel repeated, offering a tentative smile, her gaze still uncomfortably hostile. She was older than him, late forties he suspected - though still quite beautiful even through the grunge and grime, those dark eyes unwavering and demanding. He decided he found her unsettling, and not just because she was commanding about a tentacled behemoth like it was a golden retriever. He wanted to ask her if she'd just come in from being buried alive, but decided to keep his mouth shut until he was better able to suss out the situation.

Without another word, she led him out the corridor and down the hall, revealing a much larger ship than he anticipated. The blue and grey interior was all curves and circles, very unlike anything he'd come into contact thus far. In his experience, spaceships were generally more angular, rigid. There _was_ a certain charm to this though.

As the corridor began to widen into another room, Daniel heard voices. One of them stuttering and male, the other… "Vala?"

Druenna either didn't hear him or chose to ignore him. As they turned the corner, Daniel was first met with what appeared to be a giant oval work table. A sweaty red headed man was hovering over it, throwing bits and pieces of wiring around as if he didn't quite know what he was looking for. Vala was tied up on a chair beside him, looking at him with unmistakable loathing.

"Allan!" Druenna barked.

"Dru? Is that you?" Allan giggled slightly, caught himself, slapped a frown on his face and continued, "I thought you wouldn't be back for another couple hours."

"Who are our guests?"

"Who the hell are _you?_" Vala said, brow furrowed. "Daniel?" Daniel gave her what he hoped might be a comforting smile, although it felt a bit half assed once it was out there. Still, relief at seeing her alive and (relatively) safe alleviated a solid third of his anxiety. Now he was just hoping the rest of SG-1 was home. Or, preferably, waiting with a very large battlecruiser just outside.

Vala began struggling more violently against her bonds, Daniel ran and caught her before she knocked herself right off the chair. She grinned at him appreciatively. He realized he hadn't dreamed the wound in her forehead. Fortunately it had already begun to scab over.

"Roldie, secure him for the moment," Druenna said, motioning to Daniel. The thing grabbed him awkwardly around the middle and yanked him away from Vala. The putrid smell filled his nose again and he grimaced, praying that the woman was right, that _Roldie_ wasn't contagious. He then saw that there were two more of the things at the other end of the control room.

"If the two of you will please be quiet and allow Allan to summarize the situation for me, I'll gladly let you go. Until then, no goo goo eyes, and no talking," she said, narrowing her eyes at the both of them. For a moment, Daniel worried that Vala wasn't going to cooperate. He could see the urge to retaliate in her eyes. He hoped she'd manage to sustain it, at least for now.

"Ah, Dru, sugar lumps," Allan began as Druenna rounded on him.

"You got the DHD I see? And why are there two extra bodies on my ship?"

"Well, that's, uh, fairly simple - you see because, uh -" Allan paused and closed his eyes and Druenna grabbed him around the throat. Daniel almost found the scene comical. Druenna was terribly short, perhaps 5'4'' at the most - Allan was about his height and surprisingly well built for such a squirrelly bastard.

"No, no. _You're_ going to tell me. Not your melodramatic alter-ego," she said. _The questions just keep piling up_, Daniel thought wearily, wishing he had his glasses as a headache began to blossom.

"He said he'd accidentally beamed us aboard when he beamed the DHD aboard. Apparently it's a proximity thing," Vala said irritably. Daniel imagined she'd become quite tired of Allan indeed if she had been in his company the entire time. Allan jabbed a filthy finger in Vala's direction and nodded, relief spreading over his features as he appeared to struggle to find his voice once again. Druenna released him.

"Right! Yes, that. All a silly misunderstanding. I was gonna… I was gonna drop them off as s-soon as you got back with the transport pod," he said.

Druenna rolled her eyes, thinking this over. Daniel was simply waiting for all of his orifices to close up so that he could suffocate to death. How long was the incubation period? He couldn't remember just now, but his anxiety was reaching new heights every time he chanced a glance at Roldie.

"Fine. Roldie, let go of him. Zel, Zinn - untie Ms…?"

"Vala," Vala replied promptly, a pleased smile brightening her features. Daniel let out the breath he'd been holding, wondering if things were actually looking up or if the other shoe were about to drop. He still had a face, right?

"B-but Dru! She threatened me! She's… And H-he… You can't let them run amok on the ship!" Allan said.

Zel and Zinn, that is, the other two Faceless Ones, made surprisingly short work of Vala's bindings. Daniel noticed that they worked together, making full use of every extra appendage they possessed. Vala flinched away from them at first, but then relaxed.

"Once you're finished with that, help Roldie empty the transport pod," Druenna told the Faceless Ones.

"You got the beacon set up?" Allan asked, fraying the wire coupling in his hand nervously. Roldie dumped the coil of cables onto the work bench before heading back the way they came.

"Yes. Now get to work setting up the third one. We'll be to the next city in a few hours," Druenna said. "I'm going to talk to our guests and then get washed up."

"Fine. Fine. Sobek keeps arguing with the build but I think… I think I've figured out a more efficient way," he said, laughing to himself. Druenna looked at him blankly before motioning for Vala and Daniel to follow her down another corridor.

Daniel touched the small of Vala's back and said, "Are you alright?"

"Am _I_ alright? Daniel you were _dead_. There was so much blood, your jaw was on a hinge, your… I'm pretty sure we probably left it behind, actually," she whispered.

"Those sarcophagi are surprisingly reliable," Daniel said. He'd have to add this to his tally: Daniel Jackson: 4, The Great Not-There: 0. He brushed the thought away. "What the hell is going on?"

"I suppose we'll find out, won't we?" Vala said, giving him a funny look as she rushed to keep up with Druenna. The woman had led them into an intensely strange room, complete with a dark wooden table sporting an antique stained glass lamp, high backed armchairs covered in a Victorian print, a blue chaise lounge, and a tea cart. The only thing missing was a fireplace.

"Okaaay," Daniel said. Druenna pointed to the armchairs expectanty. Vala flounced into the chair, rubbing its arms with a smile on her face.

"Oh this is lovely," she said, suddenly have a grand time.

"How do you take your tea?" Druenna said.

"H-Hold on," Daniel said. "Tea? Where the hell are we? Who are you and why does this ship have a-a-a tea cozy?" He'd been shot, killed, brought back to life, and manhandled by a monster in the space of what felt like a few hours. His head was swimming and his vision was growing fuzzier by the minute and now she was offering them _tea._

_"_Daniel, darling, I think the lady was going to tell us. If you would just be a little patient," she said. Druenna stared at him coldly, raising an eyebrow.

"Sit," she said.

"I'm fine standing," Daniel replied, rubbing the bridge of his nose impatiently.

"Have it your way," she said, handing Vala a cup of tea on its very own floral saucer. "Daniel tells me you two are explorers?"

She had decided to direct the conversation to Vala and Daniel felt himself bristle. Usually it was _him_ who directed conversation. But he supposed he wasn't in the most diplomatic of moods. In fact, he was damn exhausted. Everything felt surreal, but this eccentric little tea room was the icing on the cake.

"Oh yes. We're from a planet called Earth -" Vala began.

"The Tau'ri?" Druenna prompted.

"Precisely. Well, actually I'm not a native Tau'ri but-" Daniel looked at Vala sternly and she curbed her answer. "But that's besides the point. We were on an expedition of sorts on the planet Veranan. An epidemic hit there. Which clearly you know about because your guards are products of it." Vala turned the tactful sentence into an accusation abruptly, but the smile hadn't left her face.

Druenna smiled slowly. "No they are not. Roldie, Zel, and Zinn are not human. They never were. They're Hyper-Hytroxiophs. A species of peaceful farmers which evolved from something quite like a… Morpoatin."

"Something like an elephant," Vala said to Daniel. "But smaller." Daniel wondered if Vala perhaps had no idea what she was talking about once again, but chose not to argue. He digested this information for a moment, getting his head around the idea that those tentacled beings out there were _not _human and never had been. He supposed it was believable. Thinking about Roldie now, it - _he_ had been smoother, more complete looking than the mutations on Veranan. The skin did not hang off as loosely or awkwardly as it did on their once human counterparts.

"Zel and Zinn are siblings, very young. Roldie's older. He's been with me for about twenty years now," she said fondly. "They're from a small planet, more of a moon really…"

"Then how come the people on Veranan were turning into creatures that looked _exactly_ like these -"

"Hyper-Hytroxiophs," Druenna said again.

"Hyper-Hytroxiophs?" Daniel finished.

Druenna narrowed her gaze at him for a moment. "Because I mistakenly visited the Veranan government with Roldie in tow unaware that they had not engaged with alien species before. They asked to examine him, all for the sake of science. Because they assured me no harm would come to him, I acquiesced. Also it was much less expensive than the amount of naquadah that I was prepared to offer in payment."

Vala asked "Payment for what?" just as Daniel said "You allowed your friend to be experimented on?" and they extended each other annoyed looks.

"One question at a time. I'm not even sure why I've decided to afford answers in the first place," Druenna said, sighing. Daniel crossed his arms at her. "First of all, you judgmental little _ant_, Roldie was pleased to help. He's a resilient, helpful creature. Second of all, I'm not prepared to divulge our purpose here yet as I don't know or trust you, nor have I any reason to. The only thing you two need to know is that we are not the ones causing the epidemic and while you're aboard my ship, I promise no harm will come to you."

"You can't just let it go - there are people dying down there!" Daniel said.

"Technically they're not dying. They're just _changing_," Druenna said, "and through no fault of mine. I had no idea what those idiots would create with Roldie's skin cells."

Daniel was quickly becoming nonplussed by the woman's apathy. Vala, however, remained dispassionate for once, though Daniel had no idea why.

"Allan said something about a beacon. You had set up a beacon. We had guessed some sort of beacon was controlling them. They move as one, and _something_ must be directing them. Is that you?"

Druenna's eyes flashed with anger, but it dissipated so quickly that Daniel wasn't even sure he'd seen it. "No, our beacon is for something else. I'm afraid I'm very tired. And an absolute mess. Look at me, I look like shrubbery!" She pulled out yet another leaf from her hair. "I'm going to have a wash. You two are welcome to peruse the ship at your leisure. This tier is the living quarter. There's a makeshift kitchen just there, and an extra room if you go all the way down that corridor. You'll have to share, but by the looks of it I'm sure that won't be a problem." Druenna got up then and Daniel was about to open his mouth, but Vala shook her head at him. _Vala_ shook her head at _him_. He was having quite enough of this role reversal for one day.

"Thank you for your hospitality," Vala said.

"Don't pester Allan. He has enough to deal with without your incessant questions. If you need anything, ask Roldie or Zel - Zinn is a bit grouchy around strangers," the woman said, before turning and strolling quickly down a corridor Daniel had failed to notice altogether. Once the sound of her footsteps disappeared, Vala put another cube of sugar into her cup and leaned back in her chair comfortably.

"You're kidding me right now, right?" Daniel said.

"No, Daniel I'm not. I'm exhausted. Emotionally and physically, and I don't think we're going anywhere at this precise moment," she said before sipping at her tea noisily. "Also, I don't know if you're aware, but us being here is your fault."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Yes. If you had dialed the gate quicker and not been shot, we would have been through. But nooo," she said into her tea, a small smile forming. Daniel collapsed in the other armchair, feeling deflated. Vala leaned forward in her seat and put a hand on his knee. "If you ever do that to me again, you better be damn sure you stay dead."

Daniel answered with a tired smile, putting his hand on hers and grasping it tightly. Her eyes widened then and she took her hand back. "Which reminds me - you might be needing these," she said, pulling out a pair of glasses. His _old_ ones. Vala had been the one to point out that they made him look like he was about eleven years old. He had no idea how she'd gotten a hold of them or why she might be carrying them around, and he decided not to ask. He put them on and smiled more broadly as Vala's face sharpened in front of him.

"Thank you."

"We'll figure this nonsense out. We always do," Vala assured him, patting him once more on the knee. "Now drink your tea."

##

_Just an FYI, the Daniel deaths I'm counting are the ones where he legit died, not alternate versions and not presumptions. So I'm counting deaths from eps 'The Nox', 'Meridian', and 'Reckoning'. If there were more 'legit' ones I'm missing then def tell me. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thoughts/critiques/comments/etc are totally appreciated! Also, say Hyper-Hytroxiophs five times fast!_


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